'Velcro bird' is not a metaphor. It is a literal description of what owning a cockatoo is like. They want to be on you, near you, touching you, ideally inside your shirt, at all times. The cockatoo community talks about rehoming rates more than any other parrot community — because the birds who end up in rescue almost always came from owners who didn't understand what 'demanding' actually meant. Cockatoos are not high-maintenance. They are all-maintenance.

'Toos' is the universal shorthand. There are around 21 species. The Umbrella (White) is most common in captivity. Moluccan Cockatoos are the largest and the loudest — possibly the loudest birds on earth. Sulphur-crested are the 'aggressive' reputation species, though that's mostly due to improper socialization. The community agrees: if you're getting a cockatoo, do your homework and then double it.

Night frights are a real 3am emergency in the cockatoo world. Something startles a sleeping bird, it panics, flaps in the dark, and injures itself. Cockatoo owners learn to have a night light, know their emergency avian vet, and keep Scratchpay pre-approved on their phone. PBFD — the virus that causes feather loss and beak deformities — is the community's biggest health fear.